Big Dick, Big 10 Tourney Preview

I want to start off and say I hate reading long articles. I assume you’re like me and can’t commit to something more than 400 words so I’ll keep this short. Also, you can go to any website and find some bullshit analysis from 15 analyst giving you guaranteed reasons why a team will win. But they don’t know shit, so i am here to lay out the facts in my head and my immediate thoughts on each matchup.

I will be honest, I have not been watching college basketball as often this year. In fact, I only gambled on one game; however, I got that bet correct so lets say I’m batting a solid one thousand. So, let’s start with the March 13th games: #13 Nebraska vs. #12 Rutgers and #14 Northwestern vs. #11 Illinois.


#13 Nebraska vs. #12 Rutgers:

I hate Rutgers. They are from New Jersey and nothing good cums from New Jersey except for Jon Bon Jovi. Rutgers always thinks they are better than they are no matter the sport. Nebraska is the definition of grit. And for that reason, I am in on Nebraska. Bet your first newborn on it.

#14 Northwestern vs. #11 Illinois:

Northwestern had a break out football year, and made it all the way to the Big 10 championship game. But, this is basketball, and just like the famous alumni Darren Rovell, they are a joke. They could not play basketball to save their lives. Illinois once had Deron Williams, Luther Head, and Michael Jordan (jr). I know for a fact they will win the game and cover whatever spread is given.

Now onto the March 14th games:

#9 Indiana vs #8 Ohio State:

Indiana is a scrappy team lead by Romeo Langford. The kid is a baller, shot caller. I know last time these teams met, Ohio State inched out a three point victory but that it is the past. Ohio State, losing the last 4 out of their 5, is a pretender school and it will show on game day. Please take Indiana money line if you have any brain cells, you peasants.

#13 Nebraska/#11 Rutgers vs. #5 Maryland:

Do I even need to write anything? Maryland by 90.

#10 Penn State vs. #7 Minnesota:

Penn State is by far the biggest sleeper in this tournament. They could do it all, as long as their Head Coach Chambers doesn’t fuck them. I currently attend State and I am the biggest anti-Penn state fan on campus, so that really shows how confident I am in this team. Some may say that this team will “make some noise” in the big 10 tourney.

#14 Northwestern/#11 Illinois vs. #6 Iowa:

I always respected the Hawkeyes, plus my finance teachers’ nephew starts on Iowa and I loved that dude’s class. He really cared about us and wanted to see us succeed. Karma is real, take Iowa.

Outlook Rest of the way:

-I believe Penn state will upset #2 Purdue. I have no reasoning but that is what my tingly balls are telling me.

-I believe the championship will ultimately be Michigan vs Michigan State.

And the winner……

Michigan State because I am bias and they have been my favorite team since I got my first pubic hair.

Fuck you all,

QB out


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