big pop-pop energy

2018 was the year of big dick energy. if you don’t know what “big dick energy” is, go fuck yourself, but i have a snippet from the cut that will suffice for you mouth breathers.

screen shot 2019-01-08 at 5.26.41 pm

“ten inches of organic hot-dog meat”…….i giggled.

anyway, pete davidson’s “gangly-ness” oozed “big dick energy” and thus, the term was born. shoutout to the internet and ariana grande for outing pete davidson’s massive meat hammer.

i’m over big dick energy. that swine is stuck in 2018 with gluten free soldiers, vegans, and the instagram influencer revolution. there is too much pressure to try and portray big dick energy. my life simply doesn’t revolve around peacocking so hard that girls think i’m packing a 10 inch taylor ham in my pants cause frankly, i’m fully not. so fuck trying to have big dick energy, i’ll shoot for something a bit softer and smaller.

2019 is the year of “big pop-pop energy” which can be described as followed:

“the stimulating feeling you get when you’re on your couch being a complete piece of shit, and are fading any social plans/obligations/gatherings that may be presented. big pop-pop energy should not be confused with “big scumbag energy” because those two are completely different entities, although they can overlap under certain circumstances (mookie bets, 2019)”

origin: grandfather’s across the world

common examples of big pop-pop energy:

-leaving mid-pregame to go home.

-dedicating each saturday and sunday to gambling on football from your couch while consuming enough food to make kylie jenner a diabetic.

-walking under 500 steps in 24 hours.

-spending an entire day in pajama pants.

-not going to the gym.

-in bed before 9pm 6/7 nights of the week.

big pop-pop energy is the ultimate form of “chill” and stems from our grandparents. think about your grandparents for a second…

did you picture your grandpa slumped on the couch at 2:17pm making sounds a broken refrigerator would make? yeah, thats called snoring, but that’s the picture i’m getting at. old people don’t sweat the small stuff. sure, they’ll get pissed off if their denied an early bird special at 4:26pm when it starts at 4:30pm, but they ultimately have their priorities in order when it comes to the type of energy they give off.

they simply don’t give a fuck about staying in every night, or not leaving their homes for days on end and it’s kind of impressive. i mean, at least when i stay in on saturdays and sundays to watch football i get an itch to go socialize with the outside world, but these old folks wouldn’t even move if walking dead happened in real life. they’d just continue reading the paper and eating quiche.

so, 2019 is the year where we relax and give off “big pop-pop energy”. sure, we can all still go out to the bars every once in a while and wakeup the next morning to $200+ of charges, but personally, i’m taking it really easy.

if you need me, i’ll be ripping fortnite on my couch.

-not, not true.

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