mimosas and a flamethrower: the worst monday of all time.

yesterday was a day. i started it off with a mimosa around 12:50, a nice rip from a dab pen around 2pm to relieve some anxiety from my gambling woes, and then my friends and i played with a flamethrower after the eagles defeated the g-men.


the combination of mimosa’s, a flamethrower, dab pens, juul rips, and sports gambling may have been the whitest day ever documented in the history of man, but god damn it was great.

today is different. this may be the worst monday of all time, except it’s cyber monday so it’s a bit better than it could have been. besides saving 30% on basically anything across the internet, i actually cannot stand being a real person today.

fall break was insanely relaxing. no agenda. no restrictions. no schedule. no problem.

i basically lived like a 7 year old that was unsupervised at a birthday party; you know, the kid who’s parents just dropped him off and now he’s eating all the cake, is on his 5th mountain dew, and has had a superb assortment of kit kat’s and sour patch kids so he’s higher than jaden smith at coachella.

but now the birthday party at thunderbird lanes is over. that kid is coming down off his insane binge of freedom and sugar, and is about to get crankier than a jenner flying coach.

i am that fucking kid. my week of freedom and degenerism is over and i’m going to bitch about it because why not? i’m definitely not doing school work today. no fucking shot. i need another day of recovery. or 5.

so there it is. fuck today. fuck going back to work or school or wherever the hell you go on a weekly basis when you’re obliged to.

but, don’t forget how fucking good break was. don’t cry because it’s over, smile because you were able to wakeup at noon, gamble on everything, eat all the food in your house, and start drinking whenever you wanted.

shootout to the worst monday of all time. you fucking suck.

-not, not true.

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