i’m at a fucking 8 lane fork in the road. here’s my situation. i’m currently cracked out on adderall pulling an all nighter for an accounting exam. i missed thursday night football, i missed playing fortnite with the boys, i missed smoking weed, i missed laughing with people, and i miss what i love.
yesterday, i had the amazing opportunity to interview an up and coming philly rapper for my podcast, the m word. i will never forget that experience. sure, alexander charles isn’t the biggest name in the world, but getting to know someone that is so talented at what they do, and to find out that they’re a real person just like you is wild.
side note: this is why pardon my take is so successful. they get big time athletes/personalities and have real conversations with them. no bullshit capital j journo crap.
we are all people. we are all built with electrons, chromosomes, blood, organs, brains, and even fucking dicks. imagine that. even most of us have the same genitalia.
the outside is where things change. the outside ultimately doesn’t matter, but in our society it means the most. likes on instagram, what you wear, how you speak, and what you look like are all the deciding factors on how people judge you and it’s mad fucked up.
so on the outside, i’m being pushed to get a job in corporate america and ultimately become a slave for high level executives so they can enjoy rooftop brunches on a tuesday afternoon and i can spend my days weaving through excel like a fucking weasel.
noooooo way. fuck that. i’m out.
there’s a piece of me that wants to throw in the rag on, “looking good on the outside.” sure, my linkedin profile looks nice and my parents are super proud of me, but is that really what i want?
again, i understand i’m nowhere the level it takes to become a full time blogger or podcaster. i’m a 22 year old idiot that records a podcast on his phone and blogs once in a while from a 2012 macbook pro.
but what i do know is that i love what i do. i fucking love it. i want to do it everyday. even if 4 people read this blog, i’d write everyday. even if 15 people listened to my podcast, i’d do it 3 times a week (not down for overkill).
so, yeah, i’m not going to pack away my professional career just yet to invest my entire life into what i love. not just yet. but the thought keeps creeping in the back of my mind like you’re deranged 57 year old uncle at a petting zoo. it’s in the background, but not fully seen.
i wrote this blog because i’m at a crossroads. i’m killing myself over this exam. i’m literally not sleeping tonight, and the only thing i want to do is write right now. not learn how to consolidate financial statements.
but in the grand scheme of things, does passing this exam mean anything? i mean, does anyone actually give a fuck?
because what matters is your influence on people. do you treat people well? or are you a complete douche-wad?
leave a mark on the world like my dog has left his mark on my neighbors mailbox everyday for the past 10 years. and that mark doesn’t even have to be significant (although the mailbox did change colors). if i can make one person laugh my day is made. if i can make one person feel important my day is made. it’s that simple. follow what you love.
that’s why i’m writing this. pursue what you love. whether it be on the side, full time, or just when you feel like it. it’s healthier than a millennial who hasn’t touched a gmo in 5 years and does cross fit 11 times a week.
-not, not true.
p.s. this was a soft but needed blog.