Why I’m Being Supreme Court Nominee Brett Kavanaugh For Halloween

Real talk I hate when Summer ends. I hate fall weather and don’t have the white girl obsession with anything pumpkin flavored. I’ll take sunny and 80 over “sweatshirt weather” any day. Once the calendar turns after Labor Day, it’s a countdown to freezing temperatures and the snow hell that becomes of the Northeast.

The only good things about fall are Halloween and Thanksgiving. While I love eating my own bodyweight in cheap beer and apple pie while being interrogated by my Aunt if I’m actually dating the hookup she saw in my snap story once, let’s deal with Halloween first. If you’re like me, you want to think of the perfect costume. Fear not, I found the hottest costume for Halloween 2k18: Supreme Court Nominee Brett Kavanaugh.

Why am I gonna dress up like the hottest commodity in judicial nominations this October 31st? Well for one, it’s easy. All I have to do is throw on my cheap suit I use for failed job interviews and I’m set. For a little added authenticity, I’ll even comb my hair with a shoe.

The real reason: it’s a great and easy group costume! Get your squad together and designate one to be the man of the hour Mr. Brett himself. Then have all your friends dress up in suits and dresses and pretend to be United States Senators.  Have fun with it! Create your own back story! Maybe you want to throw on a wig and play California Senator Diane Feinstein in drag, or maybe you’re the legislature with the sharp wit like Louisiana Senator John Kennedy? The choice is yours!

Here’s when the fun begins: Walk into the bar on Halloween night. Then start having your friends start screaming questions at you. Maybe one friend can be New Jersey Senator Cory Booker and start screaming “I AM SPARTACUS!” to the entire bar. Maybe you’ll add an extra layer of depth and have friends play protestors yelling at you from across the bar. Go the extra mile.

Judge Brett Kavanaugh for Halloween: fun, economical, patriotic and interactive. Have fun, America.

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