week 1 nfl picks: we’re off to a hot start

yooooo mooks what’s poppinn’. your boy is giddy like a muffin in a toaster today cause the eagles pulled out a win last night and i got to witness it. oh, and not to mention, we are 1-0 on the season as the eagles money line (one of my best bets this week) hit. it was an absolute emotional roller coaster, but at the end of the ride philly came out on top. fly eagles fly baby.

but enough about the past. i am so fucking amped for this weekend. nfl football is back. just let that soak in for a second….

ok, now put away your boner and let’s get into some weekend picks.

note: i am categorizing my picks into “must bets” and “middle bets”. the must bets are picks that you should 10000% ride and maybe throw a little extra juice on. the middle bets are still worth hammering, but i’m just a little less confident in them. let’s hit it.

mookie’s must bets

bengals vs colts: bengals +3 and under 48

these are two teams that are more mediocre than a 2 day old room temperature slice of pizza, which means that there isn’t going to be many points this week. andrew luck is a giant question mark and i can’t imagine him coming out hot during his first football game since the vietnam war. on the other hand, andy dalton is more predictable than a girl at the beach making her boy friend take instagram pictures of her in a skimpy bikini. ouch. i like the bengals to at least cover the spread and possibly win this game. the ml is sitting at +125 which can add a lot of value in a parlay. ride day time andy and the bengals.

bills vs ravens: under 43

two things. nate peterman. baltimore defense. that is all.

mookie’s middle bets

chiefs vs chargers: chiefs +3

i am so excited for this game solely because of pat mahommes. i’m not a chiefs guy in general, but i’m a mahommes and andy reid believer. it’s an absolute electric duo. anyway, we know the chargers. phillip rivers, melvin gordon, keenan allen, and a decent defense. boring. but, the chiefs could blow up this year. if the chiefs put it together they are going to be more dangerous than pink rose at a rooftop bar in new york. white girls love that shit.

bottom line. i love the chiefs this year and think this game will be close. along with the spread, i’ll also be throwing a few bones on the chiefs ml at +160.

cowboys vs panthers: cowboys +3

i’m keeping these short now because i have shit to do, but the bottom line is i hate cam newton and i think the cowboys are going to have a huge year. with zeke back in the mix, dak prescott will be able to do what he did his rookie year, and the cowboys are going to dominate teams. sprinkle something on that ml if you like the pick.

redskins vs cardinals: skins +1.5

i hate sam bradford and love alex smith. next question.

seahawks vs broncos: seahawks +3

case keenum is a fucking dud, and this may be my least confident middle bet, but i’m a russel wilson believer. i think seattle has enough gas in the tank to pull one out against john elway’s broncos.

upset pick of the week: oakland raiders ml +200 over the rams

along with way too much hype around the rams, there are way too many egos in their locker room. i can’t see this team putting it together in week 1 and looking like an elite team. i also think they’re going to be cocky and arrogant, especially against a raiders team that doesn’t have much talent. any jon gruden led team is going to have a ton of heart and grit, so if anyone is going to pull a large upset this week, leave it to gruden and the raiders. how much you put on this game should be dependent on how your other bets go on sunday. it’s not being played until monday night at 10pm, so a lot can happen between then and now.

fun picks that i’m not counting towards my record unless i tweet them:

jets +7 against the lions: 1, if you don’t bet monday night football you’re a squid. and 2, if you don’t think it’s going to be fun routing for sam darnold you’re an idiot. ride the jets.

browns +4 against the steelers: if you watched hard knocks you have to be rooting for this team. plus, the steelers are in complete shambles right now due to the leveon bell situation, so this could actually be a good game. now that i think of it, i might bet this heavy on sunday, but i’ll keep you posted on twitter.

as always, follow me on twitter @themookiebets to chirp me, discuss picks, or call me a fuck face. let’s have ourselves a weekend boys. also, college picks will be posted on my twitter on saturday.

-not, not true.

 

 

 

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