college football week 1 recap: 5-1 on picks to start the year

ok so i’m going to try and do this every week but odds are i won’t be able to because i’m busier than charlie sheen in a strip club. basically, i’ll be summarizing the biggest things that happened over the weekend in college football. heisman candidates, upsets, and most importantly who is winning/losing us money.

after week 1 i am 5-1 and off to a hot start on my bets. i’m literally giving out free money like a dumb banker that credited your account an extra 0. so, with that being said, let’s establish some conclusions in the college football landscape.

alabama is alabama. another year, another strong alabama team. except this year they have an absolute rocket ship at qb in tua tuahfohfjdf however the fuck you spell it, and it doesn’t look like they’ll lose a game. i hammered their spread on saturday and ill be hammering it for the remainder of the year. even if it’s at -90.

miami sucks. miami was ranked #8 coming into their game sunday night and got absolutely dick slapped by #25 lsu. lsu looked like a classic lsu team playing stellar defense and having their qb manage the game on offense. miami is not legit whatsoever. there is no coming back from that disgusting loss.

will grier for heisman is a legitimate thing. grier put up some crooked numbers on saturday throwing for 429 yards and 5 touchdowns. the redshirt senior seems like he’s been in the ncaa for about 30 years, but this year he is finally blossoming into an elite college qb. granted, tennessee is a dumpster fire of a college football program, but your boy will can ball out.

texas football is a joke. every year texas is supposed to be “back” but then every year they lose their opener to maryland so i’m officially on the texas sucks train. the longhorns are in for a long year and i’ll probably fade their spread every week.

i wish penn state lost to app. state. i hate penn state in general, and it absolutely would have made my weekend if they lost to appalachian state. it’s a sick joke that this game went to overtime, but app state is known for their opening day upsets. they knocked off michigan in ’07 during the opening weekend. crazy shit man.

the targeting rule is wildly inconsistent. i’m actually for the targeting rule because it makes football safer, but god damn they botched calling it week 1. there were times when they would blatantly miss a target, and times where they stopped the game for 15 minutes to determine if it’s a targeting call or not. either way this rule does make the game safer, but since it has such an implication on the game it needs to be called clearly and consistently. the zebras need to figure it out and become quicker on the call as a whole.

nick saban rightfully spazzed at a reporter. if you didn’t see, saban went berserk on a reporter after the bama game saturday for trying to get him to talk shit on one of his quarterbacks. here is the video.

i love this. always ride for your guys and fuck the big j journos. saban gets it. he later apologized but i still give him credit for the rant.

kyler murray is a stud. the dual sport athlete that is trying to fill baker mayfield’s shoes went off this week. he made plays that we haven’t seen since johnny football was still kicking it down at a&m, and led oklahoma to a dominating performance over fau. i’m officially a big kyler murray guy.

is jim harbaugh on the hot seat? jimmy boy has been at michigan for about 4 years now and has still yet to do anything meaningful besides sleep over some recruits house and play xbox with him. yippitie doo. anyway, michigan looked flat in their loss top notre dame saturday and it cost me a lot of money. harbaugh was supposed to be the messiah michigan needed, but it looks like the wolverines are about to have another disappointing season under his command.

teams that i want to keep betting on:

bama – they are going to beat team’s by 40+ all year long

west virginia – all around stellar offense and will be scoring a ton of points this season. try to get a future in on grier for heisman.

auburn – well balanced team.

texas – i will be fading the fuck out of them week by week.

ohio state – combined 108 points scored in their first game. enough said.

-not, not true.

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