old people and technology

technology is fucking dope. the things we can do today couldn’t be imagined 50 years ago, let alone 30 years ago. sure, at that time we thought we’d have flying cars and robots as butlers, but it doesn’t look like those things will come along for another 15ish years.

i mean, right now we only have shitty robot dogs and elon musk talking nonsense.


so, even with some failed modern technology, we still live in a world where literally everything we need is at our fingertips. our phones are the center of our lives, which is sad to say, but it’s so true. you can get everything on your phone from love to food (tinder to ubereats. deadly combo).

i’m spewing all of this because old people can’t keep up with the constant innovation of technology. it’s too much for them.

for example, i was woken up at 9am today to my mom who was in a complete panic. she accidentally deleted all the emails in her inbox and didn’t know what to do about it. she was thoroughly confused and thought it was the end of the world.

i fixed it in 30 seconds and went back to bed. the emails were back, and i was back to dreaming about kim kardashian using my face as a toliet seat. case closed.

my father doesn’t know what google chrome is. my aunt has a jitterbug smartphone (wtf is that) that is more basic than a white girl posing for a picture on a beach (boom roasted). my grandparents don’t understand smartphones. and my uncle has a motherfucking motorolla razor. god damn.

bottom line, old people can’t keep up. sure, some of the hip older people can get down the basics of technology but do they even know how to fortnite? i think not.

and this, of all things, scares the shit out of me. i might make it to 50 one day (unless i get killed by a bookie for owing him too much money) and at that point in my life who knows what technology will be like? will i be able to keep up with it, or will i be living with my iphone 7s while everybody has their phone implanted in their brains and displayed in their eyes??? fuck, it worries me just thinking about it.

i have to be one of those “cool” adults that’s down with the modern times. i cannot and will not lag behind in technological advancement. fuck that.

mookie bets is around for the long haul.

-not, not true.


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