Sundays haven’t been the same for a long time now. There’s nothing like waking up, getting ready to have a sunday funday and watching your NFL team play, and here’s a little story to prove why we need this fun back in our life so badly.
I woke up around 11:50 on a sunday morning on my buddies couch, still 100% hammered from the night before. Just one of those mornings, when you are content because you woke up with your phone and wallet. As I start heading home. I pass a bar and see a few of my degenerate buddies there, so naturally, I walk in to see what’s up.
“You better be ready to have yourself a Sunday, were starting now, kid.” one of them shouted from across the bar as he starts ordering rounds of jameson
“Fuck it, I’m off today, NFL is about to start, let’s get blacked.” Well, I’m already pretty much on that level so I may was well keep it going.
“Ayy, you already know the plan, get blacked before 2.” My good buddy Matt shouts, from across the room.
Jesus Christ, He’s worse then me but probably smarter then me so I can’t really judge.
It was all my boys and I sitting at the bar just fucking around and waiting for 1pm kickoff. Our friend Chelsea was pouring the sauce, so she was hooking us up since we were the only fuckers crazy enough to be there at open.
Two rumple shots down, and I after that I start nursing a rum and coke. My stomach was killing me, slightly struggling after those two shots. In the state where I’m trying not to yack right now, I can feel my hangover from last is starting to kick in, so there’s only one thing to do, keep boozing.
And of course, what does Matt order? another round of Jamo, fuck. That crazy motherfucker.
Finally football starts, we all start getting hyped up continue to rip shots and it’s go time
I really have no choice but to take the shots that continue to be shoved in my face, one more down the hatch, I guess.
straight to the bathroom, projectile all over the fucking place. My yack just covered the whole shitter. But goddamn did I feel like a million bucks now. I already know at this point I’m blacking out.
I walk back to the bar and played it off pretty casually. No one suspected a thing, which didn’t really surprise me, because I can sneak out a yack like a silent fart when I need to.
Here comes the fun part, Halftime. Halftime in Athens is dangerous, dollar shots of whatever you please. We fill the bar with all sorts of liquor. At this point, I’m all in, I got the yack outta the way and the liquor is starting to go down smoother and smoother. We have a field day on these dollar shots and at this point some of us can barley stand and some even call it quits at the end of half time.
Matt calls me over and tells me were finishing these drinks and going back to his house up the street. Right before I finished my drink, I looked up at the T.V. and watch the first play of the second half for the browns………Kizer throws a pick six, shocker. I mean they haven’t won a game this season, I have to at least throw $10 on the MoneyLine each week.
When we got back to Matts things got a little outta control, well not technically things but sadly, me. We were drinking on the porch and there was hella foot traffic walking past his porch, apparently everyone was having a bit of a sunday funday. I walked inside to grab a beer, and saw a megaphone on the living room table… Snagged that and walked back out to the porch like I was ready to rumble.
I can’t really recollect much after this, but from what I heard, I sat on the porch and wouldn’t get off that megaphone for at least an hour. Hollering at every chick walking by, moms, and threw some sarcastic bullshit out there. I mean, I was blacked out, I don’t think I said anything to to bad. Hopefully not, at least. But, from what I’ve recollected I may have burned a few bridges. And the neighbors no longer fuck with us. at this point. I’m a scumbag.
It’s been a long day so far, I decided I did enough damage today, I picked up my phone and tried to order a pizza, and my card got declined….
I deadass had six dollars on my debit card, I was so pissed, six dollars to my name, not to mention the browns lost. I pulled up my phone and checked to see who was playing on sunday night football tonight, Falcons at Patriots and I was up 15 on the week already. I had gut feeling tom brady was going to go easy on the falcons after embarrassing matt ryan in the superbowl, after all tom brady is a good guy. So, my dumbass put 100 on the falcons, went to make some ramen since thats all I could afford and get ready to hopefully make a little paycheck and watch this game….15 minutes later and I wake up at 7am on monday, completely confused. tom brady decided to show no mercy on the falcons and completely destroyed them 23-7… my head was pounding and I went back to bed hoping it was all a dream.
Welp, it wasn’t a dream but it sure felt like one, about a 24 hour blur and im now in debt, scumbag might be a complement at this point. I checked my card again and my week gambling balance neither of them looking to hot. Between spending my whole paycheck in two days and betting against tom brady made me almost realize I should probably find out where the library is on this campus. The true moral of this story is don’t get drunk on a sunday and bet against tom brady when he’s playing in gillette stadium or your sunday scaries will turn into monday scaries. Although that sounds like a pretty rough monday, it sure beats the hell out of doing homework or any sunday family dinner. Life of a Browns fan summed up on a sunday.