i have the #1 draft pick in my fantasy football league

fantasy football has lost a little bit of it’s luster for me. ever since betting and daily fantasy got involved, it’s hard for me to root for things. for example, i may have obj on my fantasy team, but i bet on the eagles, am an eagles fan, and have eagles defense on my draft kings lineup that week. that makes it virtually impossible to give a fuck about obj even though he was probably the best player on my team. that example can be played in a million different ways, and overall it’s hard to root for individual players on a sunday when you’re throwing money around like drake in a canadian strip club.

anyway, i still love fantasy. it gives me a chance to compete with 12 of my best friends from home and call them all muppet fucks at the same time. win win.

i’ve been playing fantasy with the same kids for years. i think our league started in 7th grade, and i’ve kept win/loss records in a google doc since about sophomore year of high school. our league is for $100 a person, but most importantly we are playing for bragging rights.

if you don’t have a ring, it’s hard to chirp at other players. personally, i have one of the best winning percentages all time, but i am ring-less. it’s very sad to type, but this year i have the #1 overall draft pick. things are looking up for your boy.

our league is half ppr, so it’s .5 points to receivers for a catch. i like it that way. we went full ppr last year after being standard every year before that, which is like a virgin hopping on set with lisa ann and mandingo for his first rodeo. a little too over the top.

now, i’m salivating at the prospect of drafting todd gurley, le’veon bell, david johnson, or antonio brown. i’m mainly looking at gurley or bell, but still, those other players are sick to think about as well. now, it’s research szn, folks. time to dig deep and draft a winner.

i’m a ring-less bastard in a ring-filled world, and this year that changes. mark my words.

it’s the year of the mook, motherfuckers.

-not, not true.

PS. i know people don’t give a single fuck about other people’s fantasy team, but i’m bored in class and figured i’d spew for a bit. deal with it.





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