my friends and i almost fought a taxi driver

look, i’m all about convenient transportation. especially, convenient transportation from cab/taxi drivers; until this weekend.

if i was ever leaving the city and going back to school i would look for a cab instead of an uber. not because i preferred them, but because i tried supporting local business. the guys that would not and have not transitioned to uber. the guys that are fighting the metaphorical man.

well, i have given up on supporting that fight. i will now exclusively be taking ubers back and forth from the city. here’s why.

saturday night some fuck boys and i hit the city. we went to a bar called “concourse” which has a ball pit. it’s a very questionable attraction for a bar considering it probably inhabits a multitude of diseases, but it attracts a lot of basic thots who jock to get the “cutest” instagrams of them playing with balls. ironic, i know.

anyway, the night went on and we all got hammered. per usual, whiskey shots and red bull vodkas were the drink of choice and that doesn’t always lead to good decisions and smart choices.

so, on our way out we grabbed some hot dogs from a vendor and piled into a taxi. we squeezed 4 in the back seat (i was the one laying across the middle, of course) and 1 up front. our particularly large (not fat, just a massive human) friend was up front chatting away the driver who was from god knows where, and we were on our way back to the great suburbs of philadelphia.

the ride was smooth. i “lost” my juul in the backseat, started bugging out like charlie sheen when he was out of coke, and then realized it was in my pocket the entire time. meanwhile, my “large” friend was chatting up our driver about life in senegal and many other political matters that i don’t care about.

we got back to my friends house and were just happy to be home at about 3am.

as we went to pay the man from senegal we noticed the meter only said $29. that couldn’t have been right. a cab from the city to the ‘burbs is at least $50, so something was up.

we ask the guy, “hey, why does the meter only say $29? we want to pay on card?”

he replies in a senagalian accent (?) “no no no. i want cash. $65 cash!”

what the fuck? we all started asking why, how, and were all just generally confused by this guy. there’s no shot in hell we ever said we’d pay cash, and no shot in hell the ride should be $65. he was trying to take advantage of us.

after we let out our general concerns and comments that i’m sure were very civil and well worded, he responded, “look at this house. i am in suburbs. i’m sure you boys can pay $65 cash.”

there was not shot in hell that was happening. i know we were drunk, but not that drunk to be taken advantage of like a prostitute without a pimp. we started shouting back and forth at this dude.

suddenly, amidst all the shouting at 3am in my suburban neighborhood, he steps out of the car. he looked pisssssssssssed.

but, as soon as he had that look in his eye and tried stepping to us, my “large” friend stepped to him as he was getting out.

that cheap cab driver fuck face got back into his car faster than a rabbit going back into his hole. or faster than pete davidson cumming when he has sex with arianna grande. you get the point.

this dude was shook.

just after he got alpha’d, he was ready to negotiate business like a man. we paid him his outrageous $65, half on card and half in cash, and he was on his way.

we were ready to throw down with the cab driver, but what would have happened? there were 5 of us and 1 of him, but he was the one who got aggressive.

what a fucking turd.

anyway, i will only be taking ubers from here on out. i tried to be a man of the people and help out taxi drivers, but sometimes it’s not worth it. especially, when you almost fight your driver.

at least, if that happens in an uber i’ll be able to give the guy 1 star and get a refund or some shit. god bless modern technology.

-not, not true.

 

 

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