John Tavares Is Hockey’s LeBron James

Useless you live under a rock, and your deaf, you’ve heard that LeBron is going to the Los Angeles Lakers. Look, nothing against LeBron but I’m tired of having to give a shit where he signs a contract. I tired on ESPN the other day for baseball highlights and was greeted by round the clock coverage of his private jet landing. ESPN has literally become the LeBron paparazzi.

Now I’m no huge fan of LeBron, or the NBA for that matter since my home team the New Jersey (they’ll never be Brooklyn) Nets suck. Seriously I went to a single lone Nets game last year, against the 76ers, and I’m still expecting a check in the mail from the Russian billionaire that owns them for the pain and suffering I had to watch for four quarters. You know the end of Of Mice And Men when George shoots Lenny? The Nets were Lenny, and the 76ers were George.

Why do I bring up my intense dislike for the National Basketball Association? Well for one, when you say their name like that instead of an acronym it sounds like a group of supervillans. Second, because I watch the greatest sport known to mankind, but mostly Canadians, ice hockey. And just like their ball bouncing neighbors to the south, hockey had it’s own big name free agent on the market this weekend.

That was the New York Islanders’ franchise player John Tavares. Tavares left on the open market to go play for his home town Toronto Maple Leafs. With his departure, the Islanders go back to being the least relevant franchise in sports, after the Sacramento Kings.

Now I’m no sports reporter, but Tv ares was in a different league of his own compared to LeBron and the Cavs. The Cavs tried, keyword TRIED, to put a winning team around LeBron. The Islanders did that, and changed their coach, general manager, and agreed to build a new goddamn stadium to try to keep John Tavares, but he still said he wanted to go back to the land of the ice and snow.

The team was willing to do so much to keep him. Whats left is a dumpster fire of an organization. You basically have a minor league hockey team, playing ou the remainder of its next few seasons in the shadow of the Nets at Barclays Center. It’s like that scene in Finding Nemo when the fish escape the dentists office and then look at each other and say “well, now what?” Wish I could tell you, Islanders, wish I could tell you.

Now hockey fans aren’t like wimpy NBA fans. I don’t expect to see any Tavares jerseys being burnt up. But let it be known on this day, July 1, 2018, was the day the biggest free agents left in not one, but two, sports.

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