It’s been just about two weeks that sports betting been legal in Jersey (where there’s a North, a South, AND a Central section!) and it’s been a pretty successful two weeks, if I do say so myself. I haven’t made enough to retire from my day job, that might take a few months, but I have already made a cool $200 off baseball and World Cup bets.
Of course, there have been a few roadblocks on my path to runaway success. There have bee a few baseball parlay that didn’t pan out. For example,I would have won $150 if the goddamn Nationals beat the Phillies Saturday night. And then there was my World Cup parlay that got fucked up when Colombia decided to drop their opening game. Other than that, it’s been pretty smooth sailing, smooth sailing on a luxurious yacht.
The first rule of good investing is diversifying your portfolio, so thats exactly what I wanted to do with my sports betting career. Problems is, this time of the year pickings are slim. The only real sport going on that’s happening all the time is baseball, unless your into that World Cup sort of thing. So I had to do a little research.
I walked into the sports book and looked at what else I could bet on, and low and behold, there were a few options I did;t even know existed. First off was the WNBA, but let’s be honest I would never watch, let alone bet, on women’s basketball. If I wanted to see a lady fail to win something I’d watch a Hillary Clinton rally.
But then there was Canadian Football, the good old CFL. Why the owners of a New Jersey sports betting place would thing “hmm, these guidos straight off the Jersey Shore would love to bet on the Edmonton Eskimos game” is beyond me, but hey I figured I’d give it a whirl.
I walked out that day with a $10 bet on some random Canadian teams from cities I only knew because of the NHL feeling like Mr. Worldwide because I had placed an international bet. I felt onto of the world the next day when I was out at the bar with my friends and said “wait, I have to check some Canadian football scores.”
As soon as I said that, they looked at me like I had five heads. “Why’d you bet on Canadian football? Do you even know hat Canadian football is?” Of course, I didn’t, but hey when I got that sweet payout, it’d all be worth it, right?
Nope, not only did I loose my bet because Edmonton lost to Winnipeg, I was embarrassed by betting on an across the border athletic escapade I knew nothing about. Now I was $5 poorer and looked like a Canadian idiot who couldn’t even drown his sorrows in maple syrup. Lesson learned: only bet on sports this side of the border next time.