for those of you that follow me on twitter, read this blog, or know who i am in real life, you know i am the biggest juul fiend on the planet. i’m not too proud of it, but at times it has it’s perks. juul’ing is a great social tool. whenever you’re at a party, bar, or on the street you can always find other people who have mutual love of the juul. women love the juul which is enough for me, anyway.
but, some of those people are leeches. some of those people don’t own a juul, but their only mission in life is to rip your juul. therefore, you have to be careful. kids steal them, break them, and mooch the fuck out of them so you have to know who you’re giving your juul to.
juul pods are expensive. in philly, they’re at least $23 a pack, so each pod is roughly $5 and change. over the past 6 months, i’ve been letting my friends rip my juul whenever they wanted. i’m a good guy. i want people to have fun and let loose. so sure, if my friend is drinking and wants a rip i’ll throw him my piece and he can have at it.
this has gone too far. i’ve been giving out pods like i’m the fucking salvation army. recently, i’ve been going out with one full pod in my device and one full pod in my wallet because i knew people were going to ask to hit my juul. that is fucking absurd now that i think about it. i’m not a charity, so yesterday i put an end to it.
i went to center city sips yesterday in philly for happy hour with a squadron of buhls. it was a great time overall, but one thing changed. whenever people asked to rip my juul i simply said, “no.” they looked at me like a child looks at his dad after he says “no” to buying him a toy. it felt good to be honest. soon after i said no, the 5 people who were constantly bugging me to hit my juul started to offer me things in exchange for juul rips. that’s when i knew i hit the jack pot.
i started accepting these favors because like i said before, i’m not a charity, and i’m not made of money. i didn’t pay for one drink yesterday. i didn’t pay for fries with my chicken sandwich from shake shack yesterday. i also didn’t pay for my uber home yesterday. it was simply amazing.
morale of the story, start monetizing your juul. if people want a rip, make them earn it. tit for tit. it’s only fair to be honest. pods are expensive, and as a fiend, you need to get your own rips in. at the end of the day, it’s a win-win for everyone.
-not, not true.